Jon Stewart Delivers Anti-Trump Diatribe on 'Late Show': We Must "Prevail" Against Trump's "Cruelty"


Jon Stewart appeared on Thursday's Late Show, hosted by his old friend and colleague Stephen Colbert, to deliver a monologue bashing President Donald Trump.

JON STEWART: Hello, Donald. It's me, the guy you made sure everyone knew was Jewish on Twitter. I know you're still upset about all the criticism you've been taking with the fake news and the fake-late night show, it's just that we're all still having a hard time adjusting to your presidency as it goes into its 500th year.

Everything's off its axis. It's a little unusual. Apparently, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are noble, intelligent role models and Canada's a bunch of giant a**holes. Like that's hard to get used to. You're redoing the post-war alliances, only this time we're with the Axis powers. I just want to say there's one hallmark to your presidency that we're finding the most difficult is that no matter what you do it always comes with an extra layer of gleeful cruelty. And dickishness....


It's not just that you don't want people taking a knee, it's that their sons of bitches if they do. It's not just denying women who accuse you of sexual assault. It's saying they're too ugly anyway. You can't just be against the media. They're enemies of the people. It's not even partisan. Anyone in the Republican party dare speak against you, they also must be humiliated, even if they have a terminal disease. Which brings us to immigration. Boy, you f*cked that up! Sorry.

It's the seminal example of the Trump doctrine... Donald, you could have absolutely made a more stringent border policy that would have made your point about enforcement. But I guess it wouldn't have felt right without a Dickensian level of villainy.

You casually separated people seeking asylum from their children. From babies. It made me realize something. You may be orange, you may like hamburgers, you may be a clown, but you are no Ronald McDonald. Sorry, I had to say it! It's true!

So, look, you're a businessman. Let's negotiate for an end to this gratuitous dickishness, what can we give you? You dig the dictator thing. How about a giant building with gold toilets and your name on it? ...

How about we give you a whole news network that spend 24 hours a day praising everything you do?...

Alright, let's just go full on archvillain. How about we have a volcano destroy a large portion of the home state of your enemy, Barack Obama?...

Clearly, we're not going to be able to negotiate or shame you into decency, but there is one place where I draw the line -- I won't allow you and your sycophants to turn your cruelty into virtue. And what Donald Trump wants is for us to stop calling his cruelty and fear and divisiveness wrong but to join him in calling it right. And this we cannot do.

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