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Americans Support Democratic Party Mind-Set

By Bill Smith

Washington D.C. (SATIRENEWSSERVICE)

In a stunning, pre-election rebuke to the Bush administration and the Republican Congress, a recent poll indicates that Americans by unprecedented margins support the "core" and "behavioral" values of the Democratic party.

"Core"and "behavioral" values and attitudes - also known as "Political Mind-Set" or "PMS" - indicate what a party actually stands for," said Mary Steingehirn, Professor of Machiavellian Studies at Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. "PMS is a much better predictor of how a party will really govern than the political spin of candidates during an election."

The poll, which was undertaken by the Open Society Institute, a George Soros sponsored organization, was unusual in that the sample was substantially larger, smarter, better-informed and more in-tune with the national zeitgeist than normal polling samples.

"This poll," said Marie Albern, a spokesperson for the Institute, "had as its sample, ten thousand tenured social science professors - and these people are probably the smartest and bestest and brightest people in the whole, entire wide world!"

The results suggest overwhelming support for the PMS of the Democrats. For example:

On national security, the polls suggest that 98% of Americans support the Democratic PMS of stronger rights for terrorists captured in Iraq and Afghanistan or at the scene of atrocities - as well as an end to any tough incarceration. The polls suggest that by 97% to 3%, Americans support the Democratic PMS calling for an end to monitoring phone calls and financial transactions of al Qaeda-related foreigners and the termination of sophisticated profiling operations designed to catch terrorists before they strike.

According to the poll, Americans would appear to be unpersuaded by Republican arguments that such actions have foiled terrorist efforts including the recent Heathrow airline bombing plans, the plans to blow up bridges in New York, the plans to blow up a synagogue in Prague and the plans to capture and kill Canadian politicians, among others.

On taxes, Americans in this poll -- by an almost 20-1 majority -- support the Democratic PMS calling for higher taxes rather than the Republican position supporting lower taxes. On a related issue, those polled strongly support the double taxation of lifetime income by a margin of 75% to 25% over the Republican position supporting the elimination of the "death" double-tax.

On spending, the poll suggest that Americans are completely disgusted with the level of Congressional spending under Republicans and support the Democratic PMS of far higher levels of spending by 97% to 3%.

On Supreme Court Judges, those polled support -- by a 4-1 margin -- the Democratic PMS that a majority of five justices should decide all the critical social, cultural and political issues of the day and that Congress and the President should maintain their subordinate constitutional positions of only enacting and enforcing the will of the Supreme Court. They reject Republican arguments that the Court is the least democratic branch of government and that its primary role should be to adjudicate power and protect rights.

On energy security, the poll suggests that Americans support the Democratic PMS against offshore drilling in the vast new oil fields of the Gulf of Mexico. Republican arguments calling for increased domestic exploration were rejected by over ten to one.

On immigration, the Republican core values have generated a wide-ranging national discussion about the nature of open borders, the need for assimilation of recent arrivals, the economic benefits and risks of mass immigration in a society that has always welcomed immigrants and the extent to which taxpayers should pay benefits to people who have chosen to come to America. But the polls indicate that Americans reject the underlying rationale for this discussion - that immigration is a critical issue - and would appear to overwhelmingly support the Democrat PMS in favor of maintaining the status quo.

Regarding the war on terror, the vast majority of Americans appear to support the Democrat PMS calling for immediate withdrawal of all U.S. forces from Iraq and, instead, for fighting terrorists here in America. Only 10% support the Republican political mindset that Iraq must not be allowed to become a Taliban-like state with vast wealth capable of exporting terror and dangerous weapons.

By a similar majority, the polling sample overwhelmingly rejects a strategic defense initiative and agrees with the statement: "if the U.S. and Britain have nukes, its okay for North Korea and Iran to have nukes."

Finally, on healthcare, by 99% to 1% Americans appear to embrace the Democratic PMS of more governmental and less patient involvement in healthcare decisions and are equally supportive of strong Democratic efforts to drastically reduce the profits of drug companies.

Republicans, predictably, attempted to denigrate the results of the poll. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow made the following comment when asked repeatedly about the poll: "
Duh, what the heck would you expect?" asked Snow.

But Democratic strategist James Carville called the Republican response to the news "sour grapes" and "mean-spirited" and says that the polls indicate that Democrats should sweep the next half dozen elections. "Appeasement, higher taxes, more spending, more rights for the enemy, reducing the ability of drug companies to screw the average Joe by inventing life saving drugs - these are the underlying core, behavioral and strategic values of the Democratic party! " said Carville. "For obvious reasons we don't talk about these values very much, but in their hearts, the American people know where we stand!"

President Bush, asked about the poll during the recent press conference in which he revealed that the CIA had harshly interrogated al-Qaeda leaders, jokingly stated: "Okay, I'm sure there are some Americans out there who want to pay more taxes, have fewer life-saving drugs, spend gobs more money on BS and lose the war against Islamic-fascism. But hey, according to you guys, I can't read, so naturally these polls don't concern me."


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