As my regular readers
know, I've long been skeptical of the "Religion of Peace"
moniker for Muslims -- for at least 3,000 reasons right off the
top of my head. I think the evidence is going my way this week.
The culture
editor of a newspaper in Denmark suspected writers and cartoonists
were engaging in self-censorship when it came to the Religion
of Peace. It was subtle things, like a Danish comedian's statement,
paraphrased by The New York Times, "that he had
no problem urinating on the Bible but that he would not dare do
the same to the Quran."
So, after verifying
that his life insurance premiums were paid up, the editor expressly
requested cartoons of Muhammad from every cartoonist with a Danish
cartoon syndicate. Out of 40 cartoonists, only 10 accepted the
invitation, most of them submitting utterly neutral drawings with
no political content whatsoever.
But three cartoons
made political points.
One showed Muhammad
turning away suicide bombers from the gates of heaven, saying
"Stop, stop -- we ran out of virgins!" -- which I believe
was a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence. Another
was a cartoon of Muhammad with horns, which I believe was a commentary
on Muslims' predilection for violence. The third showed Muhammad
with a turban in the shape of a bomb, which I believe was an expression
of post-industrial ennui in a secular -- oops, no, wait: It was
more of a commentary on Muslims' predilection for violence.
In order to express
their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands
of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery,
flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of
nonviolence.
Muslims are the only
people who make feminists seem laid-back.
The little darlings
brandish placards with typical Religion of Peace slogans, such
as: "Behead Those Who Insult Islam," "Europe, you
will pay, extermination is on the way" and "Butcher
those who mock Islam." They warn Europe of their own impending
9/11 with signs that say: "Europe: Your 9/11 will come"
-- which is ironic, because they almost had me convinced the Jews
were behind the 9/11 attack.
The rioting Muslims
claim they are upset because Islam prohibits any depictions of
Muhammad -- though the text is ambiguous on beheadings, suicide
bombings and flying planes into skyscrapers.
The belief that Islam
forbids portrayals of Muhammad is recently acquired. Back when
Muslims created things, rather than blowing them up, they made
paintings, frescoes, miniatures and prints of Muhammad.
But apparently the
Quran is like the Constitution: It's a "living document,"
capable of sprouting all-new provisions at will. Muslims ought
to start claiming the Quran also prohibits indoor plumbing, to
explain their lack of it.
Other interpretations
of the Quran forbid images of humans or animals, which makes even
a child's coloring book blasphemous. That's why the Taliban blew
up those priceless Buddhist statues, bless their innocent, peace-loving
little hearts.
Largely unnoticed
in this spectacle is the blinding fact that one nation is missing
from the long list of Muslim countries (by which I mean France
and England) with hundreds of crazy Muslims experiencing bipolar
rage over some cartoons: Iraq. Hey -- maybe this democracy thing
does work! The barbaric behavior of Europe's Muslims suggests
that the European welfare state may not be attracting your top-notch
Muslims.
Making the rash assumption
for purposes of discussion that Islam is a religion and not a
car-burning cult, even a real religion can't go bossing around
other people like this.
Catholics aren't short
on rules, but they couldn't care less if non-Catholics use birth
control. Conservative Jews have no interest in forbidding other
people from mixing meat and dairy. Protestants don't make a peep
about other people eating food off one another's plates. (Just
stay away from our plates -- that's disgusting.)
But Muslims think
they can issue decrees about what images can appear in newspaper
cartoons. Who do they think they are, liberals?
Copyright
2006 Ann Coulter
Distributed
by Universal Press Syndicate