November 30, 2005
Who Are You Calling Angry?
By Michelle
Malkin
Janeane
Garofalo, left-wing actress-turned-Air America radio host, is
a miserable woman. Last week before the holidays, she turned up
on cable TV. No, not to count her blessings -- but to rant against
conservative journalist Bob Novak, author Ann Coulter, and the
Fox News Channel. She didn't have anything better to do for Thanksgiving?
Accessorized
by a permanent scowl (hard to believe she was once considered
a comedienne), Ms. Garofalo accused conservatives of having "an
anger management problem." Without a trace of irony, the
frowning Garofalo griped about "right-wing partisan hacks"
who "are always on the verge of punching somebody or always
behave as if they've just been cut off in traffic."
This, dear
readers, is a classic case of liberal projection. Like CNN executive
Jonathan Klein, who derided Fox's audience as full of "angry
white men, and those men tend to be rabid," and liberal comedian
Bill Maher, who also railed that "Republicans need anger
management" and are possessed with a "vein-popping,
gut-churning rage that consumes the entire right wing," Ms.
Garofalo crossly blames the Right while denying the pathological
wrath and fury that characterize the unhinged Left.
Who are
you calling angry, Ms. Garofalo? You want political road rage?
Let's start with Al. Take your pick: Sharpton. Gore. Franken.
Yearrghh!
Now, open
your eyes:
It isn't
out-of-control conservatives tossing Molotov cocktails at police
officers in San Francisco, burning American soldiers in effigy,
and smearing pig's blood and feces on the walls and windows of
military recruitment centers across the country to protest on
behalf of peace.
It isn't
rage-blinded conservative professors who embrace fragging (the
murder of American soldiers by their fellow soldiers on the battlefield)
as a legitimate anti-war tactic.
It isn't
vengeful conservatives torching SUVs, condo developments, and
research facilities, and targeting biotech and pharmaceutical
company employees and their families to protest on behalf of the
environment.
It wasn't
mad conservatives sporting "F--- Bush" license plates,
punching cardboard cutouts of the president, and vowing to secede
after losing the 2004 presidential election.
It wasn't
rabid conservatives who gloated over Ronald Reagan's death or
John Ashcroft's pancreatitis.
It wasn't
a gut-busting conservative journalist who vowed to kill herself
if Dick Cheney ran for president. (That would be the perpetually
aggrieved Helen Thomas.)
It wasn't
hate-filled Republican officials who reportedly screamed "faggot"
and "fruitcake" and "I'll break your nose"
at their political opponents. (Those were all Democrats: Pennsylvania
state legislator Vincent Fumo, California Rep. Pete Stark, and
Virginia Rep. Jim Moran, respectively.)
It isn't
fanatical conservatives joking about the assassination of President
Bush and the execution of his Republican aides. (That, Ms. Garofalo,
would include your Air America colleagues. But I'll forgive you
if you weren't tuned in to them. Few are.)
And it wasn't
ruthless conservatives who cheered last week when a liberal Bush-hater
wrote on the popular DemocraticUnderground.com website last week:
I
am an American, Born and Raised, but I am NOT a citizen of BUSH'S
America. I want nothing to do with the country these people
have created.
And
for those who support them, Let's get Something Nice And Sparkling
CLEAR:
Stay
The [F---] Away From Me. Stay OUT of my personal space. I want
NOTHING from you. I want NOTHING to do with you. I want NOTHING
to do with your "vision" of what the world should
be.
What
DO I want from you?
Honestly?
I
will freely admit there are days, and they are becoming more
than not, that the Alien at Area 51 in Independence Day and
I share quite a common ground on the answer to that question.
And
I am NOT apologizing for it.
In
the words of the Late, Great Bill Hicks, about the most conciliatory
thing I can say for those people at this point is simply this:
Kill
Yourself
My Christmas
wish for Ms. Garofalo and her ilk: a mirror and a clue to make
the yuletide bright. In the meantime, when vein-popping liberals
start seething about the rage of the Right, the wisest action
for peaceful right-wingers I can recommend is this:
Duck.
Copyright
2005 Creators Syndicate
