Caption Contest - February 12, 2004

"No, ..., really ..., John Kerry!"

"So I said, 'Saddam, old buddy, you better move those things to Syria.'"

"...and if you guys so much as think about invading again, so help me God, we'll whoop you so bad that you'll be having croissants in the Munich beer halls!!!"

"Yes, the new Marshall Plan: Sadam's pay-offs, oil contracts AND the American rebuilding money."

"Don't worry about the contracts Saddam promised us, my cousin's cousin is JFK."

"And then, Bush used his oyster fork on the lobster!!! Can you imagine?"

"Gerhardt, I did not have sexual relations with that Dictator, Saddam Hussein, not a single time, never."

"And Saddam thought the money he gave us would save him!"

"Did you see Meet The Press on Sunday? What a rube!"

"I'm telling you my friend. Once this John Kerry becomes president, we'll get everything we want from the Americans. After all, he's part French, you know."

"Hey, Gerhardt, pull my finger."

"With Kerry in the White House we'll probably be paid all the money that Saddam owes us for weapons. And Bush thought that he won the war!"

“Gerhardt, I promise to show you as much loyalty as I have to all my past allies!!”

"And so I told Saddam, if Putin gets a million oil credits, I want one billion!"

“… and he said, ‘A spiderhole, I don’t need no stink’n spiderhole.’”

"Excuse me Gerhardt--you've got some Masgoof stuck between your teeth....let me get that for you."

"...and the really funny thing is how Bush gets blamed for attacking Iraq 'for the oil', when actually we're the ones getting rich off Iraqi oil'!"

"...he put ze plutonium and chemicals into 1 small crate, and sent it Putin...C.O.D.!"

"Wait, wait, it gets better, then Kerry tries to tell the Americans that we can be counted on to defend them."

"and then we say,"give the UN inspection process more time"!

"Tell you what ....... you give me the Rhineland back, and I'll give you Poland !"

"...and then Bush said he doesn't need us: He's going in anyway!"

"Did you get a look at Rummy's suit? I saw better outfits on the bodies in those mass graves!"

"Way to go with the U.N.! Bush and Blair are stuck with the "War on Terrorism" and all we need to worry about is headscarves on litle girls."